


Did You Never Want to be Alone?

by Iwillbestrong97



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Abusive Relationships, F/M, Fluffy Ending, mild depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 07:50:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17977301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iwillbestrong97/pseuds/Iwillbestrong97
Summary: Request: Hi there! Could you do a Patrick x reader where the reader is on tour with them, maybe they’re part of their stage crew? They work really closely with the boys, so Patrick notices when the readers mood takes a total nosedive becomes depressed. The cause of the mood change is totally up to you! I’m sitting over here struggling with Bi Polar depression and I need something that ends fluffy and happy from one of my favorite Tumblr writers! Originally posted on Tumblr.





	Did You Never Want to be Alone?

“I told you that I wouldn’t be home for a while… I have offered to bring you with… well considering I’m in the middle of nowhere at a gas station I don’t think… Look, we’re leaving so I’ll have to call you later… Yea, you too… bye.” Patrick ran a hand through his hair.

I felt bad for the guy. His new girlfriend was controlling and got offended when he didn’t reply in two seconds. At this point, I’m surprised that she didn’t know it would be like this. She was dating the lead singer of Fall Out Boy.

Pete and I watched Patrick head into the small station, probably to buy food. He had said earlier he was craving cheddar pretzels or something. We shared a look before Pete spoke.

“I’ve already tried to convince him to break up with her. He’s convinced that she ‘likes him for him.’ Not true clearly. She’s a spoiled brat after the money and the fame.”

I’ve heard their arguments in the past, even had a front row seat for one. She was always asking why he didn’t talk about her or show her off.

I tried to explain to her that Patrick is a private guy and doesn’t want to get her mixed up in all of this but she wouldn’t listen. She would end every conversation with me by calling me a ‘jealous bitch.’ I really didn’t care for her. But Patrick was claiming to be happy and that’s all I wanted for him.

I’ve been friends with the guys for a while now. I met Joe by accident one day and we just really hit it off. That same day he introduced me to Pete and I just became part of their little road crew. I would help with putting up the set and making sure the guys got to rehearsal on time.

“They don’t even have the same music taste. Of course, I guess Patrick will listen to anything,” I laughed. Andy and Joe came over to join us when they saw us laughing.

“I never like being left out of a joke. Please share,” Joe said. Pete looked at me and gave me a motion to proceed.

“It’s not as much of a joke as it is noticing how little Patrick and that girl have in common,” I said, shrugging.

“Oh, she’s not that bad,” Andy started. We all just looked at him for a second before he started chuckling. I rolled my eyes at him.

“Hey, what are you guys laughing about?” Patrick came up to us holding a bag of cheddar pretzels. I hopped up and stole a few from his hand.

“Don’t worry about it Patrick.” He narrowed his eyes at us.

“Why do I feel like I was the butt of a joke?”

-

Another week of shows pass and before I knew it, we were headed towards the boy’s hometown of Chicago. I never had the chance to visit before now. It was always too much money and I didn’t have a friend to go with me.

I sat on the couch between Pete and Patrick. I decided to ride with them for the last part off the trip. We were currently in the middle of watching “Alien” director’s cut. We were having a great time.

“They are so stupid! Everyone knows that you never go off on your own! Especially if there’s a fucking alien on board,” I said to the tv. Pete laughed at me.

“Well it wouldn’t be much of a horror movie if no one died,” he said.

“True, but I bet the movie would be scarier if the humans did everything right and still died. That’s the point of the Alien. It’s the perfect organism,” Patrick said.

“Exactly,” I agreed.

-

The movie was almost over by the time we pulled into the hotel parking lot. Pete hurried off the bus to use the bathroom or something, leaving Patrick and I to finish the movie by ourselves. There were only ten minutes or so left.

It was late and I almost fell asleep a couple times. I at some point shifted to resting against Patrick’s shoulder with his arm partially around me. He was nice to cuddle with honestly. He was soft and just generally loveable. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. Pulling it out, I saw a text from Pete.

_If you and Patrick are still cuddling, I suggest you stop. Incoming girlfriend._

Too late. My phone wasn’t getting good service and I heard the witch climbing onto the bus. Her heels were unmistakable.

“Um, what the fuck are you doing?” I jumped away from Patrick, trying to stand but I tripped and fell, hitting my arm on the small coffee table.

“(Y/N), are you ok,” Patrick asked in a hurry. He crouched down next to me, checking me over. There was a scratch on my arm and it was bleeding. Not too badly but it still hurt.

“Are you seriously just going to ignore me?” She stomped over to us. “Besides, why was your arm around her? Clearly it wasn’t nothing,” she sneered. Patrick’s cheeks were dusted with pink. He stood to face her.

“Look, babe. It’s not that serious. She’s a good friend. Like a sister to me. I enjoy her company. You know you’re my number one,” he said, giving a sorry smile. Her heels made her taller than him so when he pulled her close to kiss her cheek, she had to lean down.

I stood up on my own. I hated watching them. It was obvious to everyone except him that she was awful. I made my way around them. The witch shot me a dirty look as her and Patrick embraced. I glared right back at her and hurried off the bus.

I hated her. I didn’t just hate the way they looked. She treats him like an object. Something that she owns. She always accused him of cheating even though he would never even consider it. He keeps claiming to be happy, but I just don’t believe him.

I collected my room key from James, one of the managers for the tour. I grabbed my bag and headed up to my room by myself. The elevator was slow and we were on the sixth floor.

Patrick and I were friends. Good friends. I was like a sister to him. I’m not jealous of her. I just know that Patrick deserves better. I’m not jealous. I don’t like him like that. He’s like a brother.

_But I wish we were more…_

I shook my head. No. I don’t wish that. Stupid thoughts. I wish they would just shut up sometimes. The elevator door pinged and opened. Pete and Joe stood on the other side. I smiled at them as I stepped off.

“So, did you get caught by the wicked witch,” Pete asked with a chuckle?

“Yea. She was not happy. Scared the crap out of me. I tripped on the table and cut my arm a bit. No biggie. She was very offended that Patrick tried to help me though.” I tried to sound nonchalant. If either of them noticed something, they didn’t mention it.

“Well, we’re going to find Andy so he can lay down some ground rules for Patrick and his girlfriend. They’re sharing a room this time. I know he likes to get to sleep at a reasonable time so she won’t be staying long.” I laughed at Joe’s comment.

“Yea well, I’m probably going to get some rest. I trust that you guys will take me sightseeing tomorrow?” They laughed and agreed. We said good night and went our separate ways.

-

Patrick sat at the bar with his girlfriend. She was going on and on about some other celebrity drama between whoever. Patrick wasn’t really sure. He would nod and laugh at the appropriate times and this girl didn’t even seem to notice he was distracted.

He knew what the others thought of her. They weren’t very subtle about it. He would always defend her and his decision to date her but it was becoming more difficult to do that. She would be mean and rude to the guys and (Y/N) right in front of him. She would always say that it’s just a joke but he wasn’t so sure. (Y/N) hasn’t given him her opinion and that was really the only one he cared about.

The only thing she would ask about was if he was happy. And for a while he would say yes and then she would drop it. He knew that she was a good judge of character. But something was off earlier today. She looked at him differently. As if she was silently asking, ‘are you really happy?’

_I’d be happier with you…_

He never wanted to admit it. He knew this relationship was shallow. He finally figured out that the girl sitting next to him really didn’t care. Patrick glanced at her. She swirled her cocktail and was still talking. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. This caused her to finally pay attention to him. But not the good kind.

“Hey, are you even listening to me?” Patrick was zoned out. He didn’t even think when he spoke.

“Not really no. This stuff isn’t really interesting to me and it’s all you talk about.” Patrick blinked a few times and finally focused on her face. Her mouth hung open slightly.

“Excuse me?” He watched as her eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms. Well. No going back now. He knew it was probably for the best anyway.

“Look. We don’t really have anything in common. You don’t seem to like me being on the road so much. You’re mean to my friends. You constantly accuse me of things and it makes no sense why. I think we would be better apart.” Her face twisted in anger. Had she never been dumped before?

“It’s because of that little bitch, isn’t it? The one you decided to get all cuddly with?” Patrick shook his head.

“This has nothing to do with her. And don’t ever call her that. She’s a better person than you could ever be,” he said. She stood from the barstool in a huff.

“You are making the biggest mistake of your life.” Patrick shrugged.

“I am unlikely to ever regret this.” Her hand hit his face with a sickening smack. Patrick’s glasses fell off his face but he caught them. She stormed out of the bar. Patrick’s face stung. He was sure there was a mark.

“Dude, are you alright? What happened?” Pete showed up in front of him, looking worried.

“Well… I broke up with her. Sorry I didn’t realize she was awful sooner,” he said, putting his glasses back on. Joe and Andy stood behind Pete.

“You don’t need to apologize to us. Take your red face and go apologize to (Y/N). There was something very off. Whatever happened on the bus seriously upset her,” Joe said.

“Yea, she was trying to hide it. You seem to be able to get her to talk. More than the rest of us,” Pete added. Patrick looked at the three guys and nodded. He knew something was off the second his now ex walked onto the bus. Now he had to fix it.

-

After I had settled everything into my lonely room, I decided to spend some time on the roof. It was one of the few places that kept me calm.

I usually roomed with one of the only other girls on the stage crew, Anna but she had to go home for a family emergency. She was also the person I would vent to if I was feeling depressed. I try to not bother the guys with this too much. Mostly because they have their own stuff to worry about.

I didn’t even know why seeing Patrick with his girlfriend bothered me so much this time. It never did before. Maybe it was because she made him act against his nature to help those in need. She made him feel like crap for wanting to help me. What kind of person does that?

I pushed the door open to the roof. The wind blew my hair away from my face and I pulled my jacket tighter around me. I could see the lights of Downtown Chicago. It had such a different feel than any other city. Of course, so did New York and Los Angeles and Las Vegas.

Some rooftops had benches or something to sit on but this one didn’t. The door itself was hard to open so not too many people came up here. I walked over to the wall surrounding the top of the building. I suppose to stop people from jumping off. I looked over the edge and down to the bushes.

I’ve never really considered jumping. It seemed pointless to do so. Who knows. Life could be much worse. I just wish that I didn’t get triggered by some new feelings for a guy that I had thought of as a friend for so long. Him and his bitch of a girlfriend. I hopped up on the edge and laid down. The city lights were too bright to see the stars but the stone under my back was cool and relaxing.

I heard the door to the roof open and I turned my head to see who it was. I recognized Patrick’s figure. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked toward me. My heart started to ache. Damnit, not now.

“Hey, how’s your arm?” He looked out at the skyline as he spoke. I had wrapped some bandages around it and it didn’t hurt anymore.

“I’m fine. No big deal.” Silence. This was weird. Patrick and I didn’t do awkward silences. We were too close.

“I’m surprised your girlfriend let you come up here by yourself,” I tried to joke. I leaned my head back to look at his face. His head was in his hands. I sat up so I could see him better.

“I broke up with her.” My eyes widened. I jumped off the ledge and went to hug him. I know he liked her, even if the rest of us didn’t. He turned toward me and I noticed a large red spot on the side of his face. It wasn’t from the cold. I was going to kill her.

“Patrick. Tell me that’s not what I think it is,” I said. I took his face gently and turned his head so I could see it better. It was unmistakably a handprint.

“She didn’t exactly take the whole breaking up thing well.” Patrick laughed a bit but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close. He hugged me back.

“I’m so sorry. I should have ended it so long ago. I should have helped you earlier today. I should have done so many things differently.” Why was he saying sorry? I didn’t blame him.

“Patrick…” I started to say but he grabbed my shoulders, pushing me just far enough away so he could look at me.

“No. Let me say this. I owe you a million apologies. I know she was a bitch. And I let her stick around anyway. That makes me a dick. I let someone hurt you and didn’t do a damn thing about it. You don’t deserve that. And I don’t deserve to have you as a friend. I’m so sorry. I will beg for your forgiveness forever.” I took his hands from my shoulders and held them.

“Patrick. I forgive you. And to me, you didn’t do anything wrong. You’re just a guy who thought he loved a girl.” His eyes searched my face.

“I didn’t love her. I guess I was just tired of being alone.”

“You’re not alone Patrick. You have the guys.”

“I guess I kind of mean more in a romantic sense. Or a companion,” He said softly. I didn’t process what came out of my mouth after that.

“Well then you have me.”

Silence. I could feel my cheeks warm slightly. I hadn’t meant to say that.

_Way to go… now you just look desperate._

I pulled away from him quickly and started towards the door. Not even going to deal with this right now. I fucked it up. We were friends and I fucked it up. I didn’t make it very far before he grabbed my arm.

“Now hold on. Talk to me. What are you thinking?” I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want to see the rejection.

“Not like there’s much left to say,” I mumbled. I opened a box that I shouldn’t have.

“Is this what’s been bothering you,” he asked? He tried to make me turn to face him but I yanked my arm away and made a dash for the door. If the stupid thing wasn’t so old and heavy, I would have gotten away.

Patrick trapped me against the door, forcing me to face him. I kept my face turned away. I spoke to him softly.

“Now you know. This is what’s been bothering me but it shouldn’t be. We’re friends. You don’t like me like that anyway. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to screw this up.”

Patrick slowly released my arms and his hands moved to hold my face. He was warm and gentle and I couldn’t help but follow his lead. His eyes were bright and hopeful but also nervous.

“As far as I can tell, you didn’t screw this up.” I rolled my eyes at him. He spoke again, quieter this time, “Can I kiss you? Then we can decide together.” I sucked in a quick breath, my eyes flicking down to his lips for a moment. His face inched closer to mine, giving me the option to back away.

_Well, if I already messed it up, may as well make it spectacular._

I met him halfway. His lips soft and sweet on mine. I wanted to melt into him. Holy hell, he was an amazing kisser. I felt our tongues brush against each other a couple times but he never pushed me. He pulled away from me a few seconds later. I opened my eyes so I could try to read his face.

“Woah…” he said under his breath. I was thinking the exact same thing. I watched as a smile spread over his face and I couldn’t help but grin back.

“I don’t know about you, but that didn’t feel like anything was messed up.” I shook my head and giggled.

“You’re right. Honestly, it’s better than before.” He kissed me gently once again before pulling me into a hug.

“Ya know something? I think it was always you that I loved. I never feel alone with you,” Patrick said. I smiled and snuggled closer to him.

“That’s why I told you that you have me. You’ll always have me.”


End file.
